Gay Marriage Post

Found this post at one of the forums I'm involved in, The Oracle. This is brilliant.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, andbirth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because theworld needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straightparents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears'55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn'tchanged at all; just like women are property, blacks can't marrywhites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, becausethe majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historicallyprotected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy likeours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire counrty.That's why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way thathanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazybehavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog haslegal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role modelat home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexualmarriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt tonew social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longerlifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage witha different name are better, because a "seperate but equal"institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools forAfrican-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gaysand lesbians will.